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Recap · Season 3

Season Three: Weeks One and Two

Stew opens the three-peat bid with a 28-3 statement, Tayne falls to 0-2 on stream, and the redemption wing wakes up angry.

Published Aug 16, 2026
Season Three: Weeks One and Two
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Two weeks into Season Three and the league already has its themes: the champ is answering questions nobody dared ask twice, the Final Four darling is 0-2 and arguing with the game itself, and half the coaches we buried in the final rankings woke up angry. Let's get into it.

The Champ Answered the Only Question

Oklahoma 28, Notre Dame 3. The one blemish on Stew's two-season resume was giving up 57 points to this man in a semifinal. So the rematch opened Season Three, and Stew's response was to hold the highest-scoring playoff offense of Season Two to a field goal. Twenty-eight to three, over the coach who hung 140 points on the last postseason. The three-peat bid is open, and it opened with a message.

Tayne's own scouting report afterward, in the chat, verbatim: "My team is worse than last years by a mile." The rest of the league is choosing to believe the scoreboard instead.

The Stream Game

Ole Miss 42, Notre Dame 38. Played live on stream for the whole league, and the group chat did not disappoint. Tayne outgained Pat 499-480 and went for it on fourth down four times to Pat's zero — and still lost by four, in a game that produced a solid hour of film-room litigation afterward — prayers versus dropped picks, a 6'6" tight end posting up a 6'5" safety, and Tayne's closing verdict on the sport itself: "This game wack asf."

His summary of the standings was better. "Nothing is free in Campus Kings." No it is not, and Notre Dame is 0-2 with the AD already circling: "We ain't making playoffs so I'm gonna get fired cause the AD was expecting me to go undefeated and win a natty."

States delivered the eulogy with a flourish: "You were one possession away vs Pat. You didn't play timid or at least show it. But when you load up vs stew. You turn into a pop tart."

The Redemption Wing

Three coaches the Season Two final rankings disrespected — with reason — have opened 2-0 or with a statement:

  • Washington (Frank), 2-0. We ranked him 20th and wrote that his season ended a month before it ended. He's answered with 31-28 over Quan's Florida State and 45-32 over TV's UCLA — 76 points in two weeks from an offense that scored 31 in its last three Season Two games combined.
  • SMU (ZBO), 1-0. Ranked 27th after being outscored 190-40 by good teams. First game of the new season: 44-19 over Bhog's BYU. Small sample. Loud sample.
  • Michigan (Dre), 1-1 with a bang. The steepest faller of Season Two just hung 45-14 on Polo's Florida — the team we ranked 5th. October Dre appears to have wintered well.

Quietly 2-0. Again.

Oregon (Bowzer) has outscored Purp's Tennessee and Cozy's Baylor 80-37 across two weeks. Last season he took a bye into the quarterfinals and we still barely talked about him. The film says stop doing that.

And Penn State (States) is 2-0 in spirit and 1-0 on the ledger — a 43-40 shootout survival over Work's Texas that says the Big Ten champ's offense came back with the trash talk intact. He's earned the right to call people pop tarts for at least another week.

The Rest of the Scoreboard

Lute's Miami handled Jason's Alabama 28-20. Polo split his opening fortnight — beat TBO's Arizona State 31-23 before the Michigan buzzsaw. And Work's Texas dropped a three-point heartbreaker in Happy Valley that's going to look either respectable or ominous by Week 6.

Eleven games in, the belt is still in Norman, and the man holding it just shut out the only offense that ever scared him for fifty-seven minutes. Everybody else is playing for second until proven otherwise. Next advance, more film.

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