Round One is in the books, and the books needed a new page, because the old record didn't survive the weekend either. Let's get into it — gently, because somebody in this story is 13-1 now and probably reading.
Ole Miss 77, TCU 7. Yes, seventy-seven.
The bracket's "round-one game of the decade" lasted approximately one quarter. The unbeaten, back-to-back Big 12 champion Frogs — seeded ninth by a committee that will be hearing about this forever, for entirely different reasons now — walked into Oxford and took the worst beating in the recorded history of this league. Seventy points. The previous biggest blowout ever (Curt's 80-21 on UCLA, a 59-point game) has been quietly moved to the second shelf of the Record Book, where it will tell its grandkids it never saw the champ coming.
The forensics, per the game chat: KJ's own review was that "yo knockouts and my drops frustrated me all 1st quarter" and then, in the most honest sentence ever typed in a playoff chat — "I playmakered somebody n he quit on his route I just said fuck it from there." The Frogs said fuck it from there. In the first quarter. Of a playoff game. Against the defending champ.
Meanwhile Pat was conducting a recruiting infomercial: the quarterback who carved TCU up was "a 3 star lol" with "99 THP as a freshman," and the halfback's ratings are "98 95 95 straight outta gym class" — a player Pat cheerfully admits Jason "sold the playin style and let me steal him." So Alabama fans, that pain you feel watching the champ's backfield? That's homegrown.
To KJ's eternal credit, the ggs were immediate, the excuses were half-hearted ("ian trippin i only ran my defense for a quarter"), and the response was correct: "i do wanna play you week 1 next szn tho." Pat accepted, then added a wellness warning: "Just know that QB and HB gunna be even better lol." Book it now.
The reward for all this: No. 1 Oklahoma in the Cotton Bowl. Stew-Pat III is on. The season series is one apiece. The board has been begging for this game since August. Pray for the scoreboard operator.
Tennessee 56, Nebraska 28
The Norman giant-slayer's first playoff start ran headfirst into the Neyland machine, and Purp did to JT what he does to everybody in that building — 56 on the board and a defense that made JT file his complaint in real time: "Shit pissed me off aint got the qb or wr to beat that defense." By the fourth quarter the man who conquered Norman was, by his own admission, "on my phone not paying attention" — a full circle moment, since that's roughly where TCU's receivers were in the other game.
Adding insult: the broadcast itself gave up. "The stream went down I thought the game was over," reported the admin desk, and honestly, spiritually, it was. Purp's prize: unbeaten No. 2 Notre Dame in the Peach Bowl, and the quiet fact that he's now beaten Curt, Ice Man, and JT in games everybody watched. The most dangerous out in the field remains out here dangerous-ing.
JT's rookie season line closes: an 11-win regular season, the loudest upset in league history, and a playoff education, all in year one. The Big Ten's newest problem will be back.
Michigan 27, Florida State 7
The most professional beatdown of the weekend. Quan's ACC champions came to the Big House, Dre's defense shut the door at 7 — the third time this stretch Michigan has held a user to single digits or zero — and the whole affair was so orderly that the juiciest moment in the chat was Stew hovering over the scheduling like a substitute teacher ("please tell me u on time") and Quan waving him off with "relax steward." Sir, this is Dre's game.
Michigan gets 3-seed Clemson in the Fiesta — Dre's smothering defense against LT's 128-28 wrecking ball, the quietest possible matchup between the two loudest résumés without a ring.
Still to come
12 New Mexico at 5 Oregon — Bowzer against the CPU auto-qualifier, winner to face Penn State in the Rose Bowl. The Ducks' shoes are being described as "flight risks." Score goes in the books when it's played; the site updates itself.
The quarterfinal slate
- Cotton Bowl: 8 Ole Miss vs 1 Oklahoma — the rubber match, two rounds early. Somebody's belt math changes forever.
- Peach Bowl: 7 Tennessee vs 2 Notre Dame — the dangerous out meets the only unbeaten.
- Fiesta Bowl: 6 Michigan vs 3 Clemson — an object at rest meets an unstoppable force, loser gets another offseason of "almost."
- Rose Bowl: Oregon/New Mexico winner vs 4 Penn State — the B1G title rematch of the rematch, probably.
Playoff Points banked round by round, as always: Pat, Purp, and Dre each +3 into the ledger, and the Frogs' consolation prize for a 13-1 season is a single berth point and a Week 1 date with destiny next fall.
All scores from the Sheet through Playoff Round 1; Oregon-New Mexico pending. Quotes verbatim from the game chats, which remain undefeated.